How to Cope With Return-To-Office Delays
It’s happening - again.
Countless businesses had their Return-To-Office plans ready for the first few months of 2022. Some folks were excited, some nervous, and most have been a mixture of both.
And just like that, it all changed.
The surge of the Omicron COVID variant pushed back those plans — for some, indefinitely.
It’s understandable how frustrating this is for employees. Not to mention the logistical nightmare for leaders and support staff (think: HR, Health & Safety, leadership teams, etc.).
Besides trying to manage the nuts and bolts in this tornado of change, people also feel:
Anger
Disappointment
Fear
Helplessness
Uncertainty
Navigating these strong emotions can be difficult, but there is a way to take the edge off. It’s all about understanding what you can control and influence when it comes to the upheaval in your routine — while keeping the upcoming peaks and valleys in perspective.
With a few simple steps, you can manage more consistently — and feel more in control of — your emotional reactions. This will level-set your expectations. And the more often you do it, the easier it will become.
FEELING HELPLESS DURING COVID
I’m sure it comes as no surprise that the pandemic affects us in many ways. After all, we're organisms reacting to a volatile and changing environment.
We're all experiencing a cocktail of negative emotions that many of us feel — and how hard it is to manage them.
To attempt to navigate these emotions, it’s important to understand where you are now — and where things are headed. So you can set realistic expectations during this process.
WHERE WE ARE NOW
Many of us felt like we were getting back into a groove in Q1. But as Omicron surges and companies delay their return-to-office orders, it’s back to the drawing board.
Some companies have a backup return date while others are leaving it open-ended. It’s delaying our wish for homeostasis at work — a dedicated physical place where we can feel comfortable and steady.
I’ve heard many responses from workers, such as:
Their safety, choices, and freedom of movement outside of the home are being “taken away” again.
Feeling happy as clams to continue to work from home.
The uncapped levels of extreme ambiguity and uncertainty are too much to bear.
A potential contradictory mixture of all the above.
Overall, many people are feeling frustrated, disappointed, and angry. They’re also feeling helpless at the situation — which just makes things worse.
Constantly feeling helpless can lead to what’s called “learned helplessness.” This happens when you believe you’re stuck in a situation you can’t change — so you don’t try to change it anymore.¹ This is obviously very painful to experience.
HOW TEAMS ARE DOING
I’ve spoken to many teams that really started to find their groove. They talked about:
Setting goals and creating milestones.
Getting the hang of hybrid work.
Realizing how happy they are working from home — or raring to get back into the office.
Then, at the 5-yard line, the end zone moved 100 yards further away.
Everyone has whiplash from this back-and-forth about returning to the office. It’s throwing teams off their game.
It’s hard to get back into the groove if plans keep changing all the time. Especially when it’s from unpredictable variables.
It’s leading to frustration and more helplessness — and affecting team dynamics and workflow.
WHERE WE’RE HEADED
As we go forward in this process, it’s important to make sure we don’t let helplessness — or other strong emotions — make us think we can’t manage how we feel.
We can, and we need to. It won’t always go well, but we need to try.
Because these emotions are normal. The challenges of navigating them are understandable too. But the next chapter of this pandemic process?
Waves of ups and downs.
It won’t be a linear process to return to the office or have regular social interactions.
There will be setbacks. You may feel “let down” by events or situations out of your control. And things might not go how you want them to, whether you like it or not.
Instead of focusing on our frustration and helplessness, we can learn to manage what we can control (when possible, of course).
REALISTICALLY MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS AT WORK
It’s no secret that COVID continues to cause a tsunami of change in our lives. Everyone, in some way, is still learning how to cope with these changes — and the never-ending stream of complex emotions that come along for the ride.
The best way you can navigate your strong emotions during these stressful times? Use tools that help you manage what is in your control.
ACKNOWLEDGE
The first step in this process is to acknowledge the reality of our situation.
We can all agree that 2020 and 2021 were terrible. And 2022 may not go as we want it to either. It’s a s**t situation and we’re each doing our best to get through it.
So take a step back and acknowledge this thought — you are doing your best to get through, in the best way you know how.
Accept your feelings (the good and the bad ones). Acknowledge that the next few months (or years) will be a series of ups and downs. Try to understand that your colleagues are doing their best too (we’re all human after all).
You can practice acknowledgment in your everyday conversations. The next time you’re talking to a colleague, offer encouragement. Try something like:
You have a right to feel that way. Is there something you can focus on where you have some control?
I understand you’re struggling with this. Is there anything I can do to help you?
This is a tough situation. I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Acknowledging your feelings can go a long way to helping you navigate your emotions. You’ll feel more in control of your life, less stressed, and less helpless.²
OBSERVE & REFRAME
Once you start the acknowledgment process, you can move on to observing and reframing.
One easy way to do this is sorting your worries or stressors into two categories: the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence.³ Developed by Stephen Covey in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, this exercise helps you determine what you have control over in your life.
If you can't control a situation, try to accept that fact and redirect your energy into something else.
If you can control a situation, try to reframe it so it helps soothe your negative feelings. Work to create conditions that give you a sense of realistic comfort and safety.
Our lives are — and will continue to be — a mixture of good and bad moments. We must recognize both.
The power of reframing is that it allows you to see a situation in a new light. So you can focus your mental energy on what you can impact.
TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AT WORK
I’ve said it once already (many times really) and I’ll keep saying it — talk about mental health at work. Have those conversations, even if they seem tough.
Why? Because talking about it may relieve some of your stress from the constant uncertainty. Even if you don’t realize it, some of your anger, fear, or frustration could be from avoiding these conversations with your team or manager.
Even better? It’s something you can control.
You can choose to have these conversations. It falls in your Circle of Influence. And you don’t need to be an expert on the subject. Simply start with:
Normalize the range of your feelings with your colleagues, especially disappointment, anger, and frustration.
Feel all the feels — good and bad. Everyone is, even if they’re not talking about it.
Try to agree as a team on how you can check in with each other.
Remember, you’re not trying to change the world or fix all the problems around mental health. You alone can’t do that because it’s out of your control.
But you can control how you talk about your feelings and mental health at work.
YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT RETURNING TO THE OFFICE
Don't feel like you need to hide these feelings. Trust me - other people are feeling the smorgasbord of conflicting emotions the same way you are. We need to normalize talking about how this process feels because it's necessary.
The last thing we want to do is villainize a completely reasonable response to an uncertain and ambiguous situation - that would be ridiculous.
These waves of ups and downs will be a common theme in the coming months — or years. Understanding that this may happen, and that it may impact you emotionally, is a huge part of coping with those feelings.
Focus on what you can control and influence so you can ride those waves with just a bit more ease: accept uncertainty, have constructive mental health at work conversations, and give yourself some grace in the process.
Need help with the mental health aspect of your Return-To-Office plans? Reach out to Melissa for strategies that will help your employees navigate the next few months.
Want to read more about how the pandemic affects our emotions? Check out Melissa’s new book.
Sources:
“Learned Helplessness: Examples, Symptoms, and Treatment.” Medical News Today, MediLexicon International, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325355#management.
Cherry, Kendra. “7 Things You Can Do If You Feel Helpless.” Verywell Mind, 6 Feb. 2021, https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-do-if-you-feel-helpless-5093315.
Wolff, Carina. “How to Discover (and Expand) Your Personal Circle of Influence.” Mindbodygreen, Mindbodygreen, 28 Feb. 2021, https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/circle-of-influence.
