Talking About Mental Health in a Remote Work Environment.
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Ah, the joys of working from home. Loungewear all day, an endless supply of snacks, and giving your fur baby kisses between meetings.
Let me be the first to say I absolutely love working from home. But that doesn’t mean the work setup comes without consequences and challenges too.
If the pandemic has normalized anything, it’s that talking about mental health is necessary, and it’s sad it took a generation-defining event to have to prove it. Simply providing resources isn’t the sole issue here.
In many cases, resources have been provided, although being able to get in to use them is a whole ‘nother kettle of fish. The wait to see a therapist or psychiatrist these days is months long, and that’s only if you get a call back.
When I was in clinical practice 10 years ago, the supply barely met the demand then; now, the system is completely under water.
Using the resources we have today is important, but there are a lot of hours that occur between those moments. So, we need to learn how to approach the subject of mental well-being with each other, even if it means doing so remotely. Just because we aren’t in the same physical space doesn’t mean these conversations should stop.
If anything, they’re even more important.
WHY ARE WE LESS COMFORTABLE SHARING IN AN ONLINE WORKSPACE?
Communicating virtually about any topic can come with its own set of challenges. And talking about mental health in a remote environment is no exception.
There’s the fear of being misunderstood, especially in text messages, where you don't have the luxury of using body language or vocal tone to get your point across.
Potential misunderstandings aside, ever heard of Zoom fatigue? Constant eye contact, watching your own face in real-time, being unable to move around freely, or—heaven forbid—the effort involved in not letting anyone know you're bored...
When we’re already struggling with how we’re interpreted in a virtual environment, or even feeling tired from communicating in such an environment, we’re a little more unlikely to have the urge to broach the complex topic of mental health that would elongate those virtual interactions or have them take place in a medium where the likelihood of it being misunderstood is higher.
WHY WE NEED TO STAY CONNECTED AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER IN A VIRTUAL ENVIRONMENT
It can be difficult to see how someone is really doing when you only see their face in the corner of a screen for a short while from time to time.
But difficulty doesn’t ameliorate need; it just means we need to make a more concerted effort to check on each other.
This is especially crucial in an environment where we don't share the same space, especially because some of us may be having feelings of isolation.
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... physically [distanced] doesn’t mean you need to be interpersonally distanced. (3)
Whether you’re in a position of leadership at your company or otherwise, do your part and take initiative to check in on each other. The way we’ve evolved keeping in touch with each other through technology throughout the pandemic is incredible, and we have every tool we could ever need (and should take advantage of) to check in on each other.
Setting an example for others can encourage others in your virtual work environment to share what’s going on too. If others hear your mental health experiences, perhaps they’ll feel comfortable about opening up and sharing how they feel, too. (4)
TIPS FOR TALKING ABOUT (AND HOW WE LOOK AT) MENTAL HEALTH IN A VIRTUAL WORK ENVIRONMENT
I know—it can be scary talking about the state of your mental health, and even more so in the online workplace. But just because we're scared doesn't mean we shouldn't do it.
For many of us, the way we work and where we work has changed. To account for these shifts, we must adjust and adapt how we talk about mental health at work.
So how do we get on with the conversation and normalize talking about mental health, even when working remotely? Let's look at a few things:
Individual comfort levels will differ, and that's ok: each person will approach talking about their mental health in a virtual environment (if at all) differently. Give each other some grace as people figure out that process and what they're comfortable with.
Virtual work struggles are still struggles: remember that it's ok to still talk about mental health when you work from home. It doesn't make those struggles any less valid just because you don't have a commute to deal with.
Language intentionality is crucial, regardless of the medium: the language we use and how we express ourselves is even more important while working in a virtual setting. BE VERY INTENTIONAL in how you talk about your mental health in a virtual environment. A lot of meaning and intention can get lost in a remote work environment, especially in written mediums where we don't have facial expressions or vocal tones.
Don't let virtual work assumptions guide your decision-making: don't let the fear of being potentially misunderstood stop you from sharing about your mental health in a virtual environment. Don't let 'not wanting to seem intrusive' stop you from checking with someone either.
The kind of questions we ask to check in with each other matter: for example, instead of an open-ended question like “How are you - really?”, try questions like “How have you been doing lately?” These types of questions usually give people pause so they take the time to reflect and (hopefully) answer honestly instead of the proverbial, “I’m fine.” The worst F-word there is! Fun fact - I learned recently that the word Fine stands for f(eelings) i(nside) n(ot) e(xpressed) - wild, right?!
Remember to be flexible with each other. The ball gets dropped from time to time. It’s just a part of life. Everyone is dealing with their own lives and unique situations, where life can throw you a curveball at any given moment. Being “authentically curious” helps you come across as genuine when you enquire about the well-being of your colleagues (5). And when you have to plan meetings, deadlines, and the like, be flexible where reasonable as well. A little understanding goes a long way (6).
Acknowledge the good… and the bad: a part of why many of us have taken to working remotely has to do with the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic. There’s a silver lining to everything that happened, but there’s also the s**t parts that still linger (7). Despite not missing your long commute from the past, perhaps you actually miss those good old-fashioned water cooler chats and being around people other than your pet iguana or your toddler who’s reminding you the house STILL needs to be childproofed. Normalize these discussions that it's ok to continue to talk about the ongoing struggles, and potential ups and downs, of working remotely - even 3 years in (8).
Your mental health at work best practices conversation tips still work in a virtual environment (9): you can still have purposeful and consistent conversations about mental health, even in a virtual environment. Just because you're physically distanced doesn't mean you can't have constructive conversations, it just changes how they're approached and the space in which they're held.
CONCLUSION
The world has plunged us into a new way of approaching work. That means how we conduct ourselves and deal with aspects of the work environment have to change, even more so when talking about mental health in the workplace. This is born out of necessity and we have no option other than to do better folks.
Even though we occupy different physical spaces, we can still have constructive conversations about mental health at work.
Check out Melissa's book to learn more about how you talk about mental health in the workplace.
Reach out to book a session with Melissa for advice on navigating team dynamics and mental health in a remote environment.
Sources:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8: Doman, Melissa. Yes, You Can Talk about Mental Health at Work: Here's Why ... and How to Do It Really Well. Welbeck Publishing Group, 2021.
