Why Good Role Rodeling Matters for Workplace Mental Health Conversations.
Workplace conversations about mental health may have come a long way, but some people still avoid it with a 20-foot pole.
There are a lot of reasons for this aversion: everything from the nature of your workplace relationships, to unsupportive or toxic work environments, to negative past experiences that taught you a big lesson that talking about mental health was a big no-no. (1)
Here’s the thing - people still have very valid reasons for being concerned to talk about mental health at work. History, and people around them, have given them every reason to be concerned or avoidant. But with avoidance there cannot be progress. And without role modeling these conversations, let’s kiss progress goodbye.
In an effort to keep things moving forward, let’s talk about why getting role modeling about mental health at work right is so crucial and a few ways to do that in the workplace.
THIS “NEW NORM” DOES NOT FEEL GREAT
Courtesy of 2020, we all got to pick our own adventure when it came to choosing what mental health challenge we signed up for (willingly or not) every day.
Stress, burnout, anxiety, and depression are on the rise: in 2019, 59% of workers reported experiencing a symptom of a mental health condition. By 2021, the number went up to 76%.
I don't mind telling you that those numbers—though they scare the crap out of me—come as no surprise. Rising issues around mental health were occurring before the pandemic; they’re just on fire now.
And now, on top of that?
How would Madame like the cost of living crisis? Well-done? Excellent choice.
Would Sir prefer the intense anxiety or depression to go with that filet of a toxic workplace?
And how about a glass of avoiding conversations about social traumatic events? Delicious.
The only way forward is to prioritize learning how to constructively talk about mental health at work as a core communication skill so we can discuss our experiences - and we need to - so we can navigate and survive the world and World of Work as they continue to evolve.
Regardless of your role in an organization, and especially if you’re a leader, leading by example and role modeling around mental health constructively is a game changer. And good leadership can come from anywhere on this.
WHY EFFECTIVE ROLE MODELING MATTERS FOR MENTAL HEALTH AT WORK
I’ve said time and time again that people are more likely to do what they see others do well, and often.
When it comes to creating organizational change around normalizing discussing a complex topic like this, true role modeling is the only way, regardless of where you sit in an organization.
You can take a leadership role by encouraging, and participating in, conversations in your workplace. And, remember, changing the narrative around talking about topics like this takes A LOT OF PEOPLE, and each person needs to do their part.
So, if you've decided you're going to take a more active approach around role modeling for mental health at work, it has to start with the conversations you have and the influence you’re trying to create. Whether that’s through role modeling:
What you need, or
Role modeling how you want to support others, or
How you want to shift the narrative in your organization
ROLE MODELING FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH NEEDS
If you want to do some role modeling for what you need, let’s take a look at that first. Here, before we even get to that, there are a few things you should be clear on before you sit down with your boss, other employees, or even organizational leaders on an individual basis.
1. Know why you're having the conversation. It shouldn't just be to share — there needs to be a specific purpose and one that you’ll be able to explain. (2)
2. Who are you going to share with? Are you going to the correct person based on what you need to talk about and why? Can they actually help you based on what you’re looking for? (3)
3. What, exactly, do you want to share? Keep to your point, and don't go into unnecessary detail. It may confuse or overwhelm the listener. (4)
4. What are you going to ask for and how? Practice what you're going to say so you feel prepared going into the conversation. Explain why you feel this is important to bring up at work and that it’s healthy and mature to do so. Be ready to educate the person you're talking to. Help them understand what you’re coming to them for and what you need from them. (5)
5. What will you be prepared to do after that conversation? Be ready to be accountable for your actions and what you’re going to say that you’ll do next after this conversation - because talking about mental health is great - but showing that you’re taking action is even better - and necessary. (6)
ROLE MODELING SUPPORTING YOUR PEERS’ MENTAL HEALTH
You may find that other colleagues come and speak to you about their mental health struggles. This is such a great opportunity to role model what giving good support looks like. And think about it this way: this could be the first time that this person gets to experience good support at work - and you could be the one to give it to them. I know, it’s exciting for me too.
Here are a few considerations for when you’re role modeling as a supporter to your colleagues:
Before you chat, remember your role. You aren't a therapist, so don't pretend to be one.
Use open-ended questions or statements: "How are things going?" or even "Help me understand a bit more" are clear and a great way to be supportive - by asking the right questions - you’ll get robust and meaningful answers
Listen: You're not there to solve all their problems. All you need to do is lend an ear and ask about the type of help they need .
Don't (accidentally) trivialize their experience: Don't tell them to smile or offer a silver lining. Let them feel how they need to feel, because a lot of people may not. Normalize how they feel, especially if they start apologizing for it.
Pay attention to verbal cues: If they give breadcrumbs like "You know what I mean..." ask for more information.
Remember, it's not about you: and while you may be tempted to empathize by telling your own story, this isn't the time.
Make sure they know you appreciate that they came to you: and that you’ll honor their privacy
MAKING A LARGER IMPACT FOR MENTAL HEALTH AT WORK IN YOUR COMPANY
Beyond all the 1:1’s, the next step is normalizing awareness and best practices for mental health at work on a larger scale. If you’re a recognized thought leader in your organization, regardless of where you sit:
“There may be an opportunity for you as a leader to start the conversation and shift the narrative” (7).
Remember that change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you want to have a louder voice for others to hear aside from individual conversations, there’s an opportunity to put your “feelers out” (8) on how you want (or can) do that. And, to see if you can help to create change on a larger scale at your company along with others in your organization who are willing to join you in raising awareness and creating change.
And to be very honest: HR usually does what they can, with what they have, and in the confines of what they’re “allowed to do”. HR needs help - and that means a chorus of voices and collection of people who role model are critical to the success of normalizing mental health at work conversations
Of course, where your company currently stands about mental health (i.e. if it’s even acknowledged or still considered a taboo subject), will impact how you go about this. But what’s important is that, based on the willingness, motivation, and readiness of where your organization is at, you consider different approaches of how to “set the tone you want to create” (9).
Decide how you want to do that:
Do you want to volunteer to speak at an upcoming Town Hall?
Write an article for the company intranet newsletter?
Be a sponsor for a future employee-resource-group (ERG) event?
There are plenty of ways to approach this, so deciding what you’d like to do (and what the organization is open to) will be a part of creating that “slow burn” of change. (10)
GOING FORWARD
It can be tough to be the first one to set an example for others, especially inside the workplace. But often, all it takes is one person with the right message at the right time to spark a fire and get people to pay attention.
And it’s more than just helping a few people to feel heard at work, though that is a great starting point. With a bigger impact in mind, you can help to lead the way for your place of work to have those needed conversations about mental health and to normalize them.
When it comes down to it, don’t we all want to work in an environment where we’re felt seen and heard and safe? Let’s stop saying bumper-sticker-isms like “be the change you want to see” and actually put it into action, folks.
Ready to take your workplace conversations to the next level? Book a consultation with Melissa.
Sources
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 Doman, Melissa. Yes, You Can Talk about Mental Health at Work: Here's Why ... and How to Do It Really Well. Welbeck Publishing Group, 2021.
