Intergenerational Conversations About Mental Health at Work.
Photo by Anthony Shkraba from Pexels
“Ok Boomer.”
“You’re such a snowflake Millennial.”
This name-calling, especially in the World of Work, has to stop.
How is name-calling EVER helpful when it comes to differences of opinion or misunderstandings? It's not, but people do it because it's an easy way to let our their frustration about the issue.
And, it reflects the growing challenges of discussing mental health at work and (unfortunate) the Grand Canyon-wide gap between generations that needs to be discussed more.
We can't just say we need to talk about mental health at work. We need to consider the literal parts of a historical timeline that people were born in because you bet your butt that will influence how they view the conversation, and whether or not they're willing to take part in it.
Let me be clear - this is not going to be an article about stereotyping entire generations of people. This will be the antithesis of that.
We must bridge the generational understanding gap if we want to have constructive mental health discussions at work.
How do we get there?
By understanding the differences and challenges between these generations. Then, working to address them with realistic solutions specifically aimed at:
Finding shared understanding and a collective path forward for how to have this conversation across several age groups.
WHAT CAUSES THESE GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES?
So here's the thing, you may not think about this often, but there are five generations in today’s workforce:
Traditionalists (born 1925 to 1946)
Baby Boomers (born 1946 to 1964)
Generation X (born 1965 to 1981)
Millennials (born 1982 to 1996)
Generation Z (born mid-90s to mid-00s)
Each generation grew up experiencing mental health in different ways — if it was even acknowledged at all.
Being born at different times calls for different experiences, opinions, and perceptions of “life” as we know it. Each generation has grown up with a different meaning, social permission, and perception around mental health (if it was discussed or acknowledged at all). So many outside-of-work factors influence these experiences too, such as:
Gender roles
Culture, ethnicity, and religion
Family and home life
Media influence (or lack thereof)
Their own beliefs and experiences
As we went from generation to generation, each group learned (in their own ways) from their own experiences and the environment they grew up in.
Usually speaking, people kept what they liked and (hopefully) worked to shift the things they didn't (i.e. I never got to talk about my emotions growing up, and I don't want my kids to have that same experience).
Imagine your own experiences and ask yourself these questions:
Did my family talk about mental health when I grew up?
Did my peer group as I grew up ever discuss this at school or when we hung out?
How were gender roles defined, especially when it came to showing emotion?
Did my religious or cultural beliefs influence how I perceive those struggling with emotions or behaviors? What did I think about it when they did?
You guessed it - the answers to these questions account for a lot of the differences we see in how folks approach this topic at work depending on when they were born.
Countless studies have shown that the opinions about mental health, and discussing it at work, have varied a lot in the workplace. Many studies have also shown that younger generations want to talk about mental health at work. They’re not willing — and feel they shouldn’t have to — hide how they feel in the workplace.
“The discussion around mental health at work is shifting with each generation… The shift indicates that younger employees are hungry for their employers and leaders to normalize discussions about something that they were raised to see as healthy and reasonable to discuss.”¹
And, younger employees are reporting feeling more frustrated with companies that won’t talk about mental health or mental illness. Even to the point that they’ll leave a company in search of another that will support these discussions - if they're in a position to be able to go work elsewhere.
As younger generations are willing to talk about their mental health, the wrongful assumption is that older generations don’t want to.
While this is a popular assumption, it doesn't mean it's always true, and we can't assume that it is. Secondly, it's not peoples' fault if they weren't raised discussing a topic, it wasn't done in their time, or they never had permission to do it even if they wanted to.
So let's stop finger-pointing at people like it is.
Older generations want to talk about mental health at work too, but some folks might not know how — or feel comfortable talking about it — based on their own experiences from a time when it just wasn't done - and understanding that it's ok to do things differently now.
GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES IN MENTAL HEALTH
When perceptions can vary so much across generations, it’s no wonder that misalignment and disagreements can frequently occur, especially at work.
The potential source? Uncertainty, fear, and language use.
UNCERTAINTY
Many companies are starting to realize that bridging this gap between generations is crucial.
Whether it's a company initiative or a leader trying to figure out how to talk about mental health with a team member who's 20 years younger than them, it can sometimes feel like a tall order.
But, difficulty, not knowing where to start, or rotten nuts in the company's Peanut Gallery saying it's a fruitless endeavor shouldn't stop you from broaching this important topic that is paramount to the success of mental health at work conversations.
Uncertainty is not a reason to forego the conversation about the multi-generational lens that is, and will continue to be, laid on top of this discussion.
The guiding star to quell your uncertainty? To aim to find shared understanding and agreement of how mental health at work conversations can be moved forward as a multi-generational organization, and what that should look like.
FEAR
Unfortunately, it's deeply steeped in human nature to fear what's different. To fear what feels 'odd'. And what do many people do when they feel fear? They avoid.
This leads to people fearing each other’s differences simply because they don’t understand them.
Folks just won't know how to get on the same page. They may not even want to either — perceiving that other generations’ POV is too “different” from their own view.
Instead, some people resort to name-calling toward each other or avoid the conversation altogether, because it's easier, and helps them remain in their own belief system that they feel is right (and comfortable).
LANGUAGE
As I say time and time again, language holds a ton of weight in mental health discussions. Especially when it comes to crossing the generational divide of differences on this topic.
Why? Because words evolve over time. Their meaning can change based on current events, new experiences, or different applications.
And until recently, a term may not have even existed to describe a specific feeling or interpersonal situation. And yet, people are scolded when they haven't caught up at lightning speed.
Consider these phrases which could have different meanings, depending on which generation you’re talking to:
Triggered
Self-care
Trauma response
If people don't share the same meaning of words and phrases, it doesn't exactly create a recipe for getting on the same page about a topic.
MENTAL HEALTH CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN GENERATIONS
Here's the thing, as much as I wished every single person would care about this, that's not realistic and not the world we live in. People shouldn't (and can't) be forced to care (or talk) about mental health at work. And you can’t force them to try to understand other people’s perspectives either.
But you can collectively decide how you’ll treat mental health discussions moving forward.
The aim is to educate and articulate the reasons for having these discussions, not to mandate learning.
How? By leading with curiosity and knowing what “good” conversations look like.
LEAD WITH CURIOSITY
Let's look at a 1:1 scenario. Before broaching the subject of mental health with someone of a different generation, have an honest conversation with yourself first about what you ultimately want to get out of the conversation. Consider the following:
Do I actually want to understand their perspective?
Do we have different meanings for these words surrounding mental health? Did this potentially lead to some misunderstandings that we've had?
Do I want to discuss similarities and differences to find common ground on this topic?
Is there something that we can teach each other? (i.e. this is a great opportunity for reverse mentoring)
Is there something this person experienced that I didn't? What could this different perspective teach me?
If you're going to have this type of conversation, be clear about why you're inquiring about these differences so the other person knows that your aim is to get on the same page. Whether that's to address a misunderstanding from the past or how you want to collaboratively address mental health in a shared way going forward. The goal is to show authentic inquiry - not to put people on the backfoot for the differences between you.
CONVERSATION TIPS
What does a “good” conversation look like between people from two different generations?
A successful conversation involves many factors. But it centers around staying open-minded and choosing your words wisely.
Consider these tips as well:
Actively listen, without judgment
Remind the other person they aren’t alone in how they are feeling (a.k.a. normalizing)
Try to understand their individual experience
Offer encouragement, empathy, and a supportive response
Respect their privacy and confidentiality
The main takeaway?
“There is an opportunity to achieve mutual understanding that crosses the generational divide, if we create moments to have those discussions with a mindset that’s open to learning.”¹
BRIDGING THE GAP IS POSSIBLE
The global workforce is moving towards normalizing discussions around mental health. This change is occurring across all generations — not only from the younger folks.
Companies must realize this and adapt accordingly. Having mental health at work conversations is great, and looking at the differences at the discussion table is even better. It might seem like a difficult challenge, but we can (and must) cross the divide of differences between generations.
All it takes is a willingness to learn from each other, understand different perspectives, and look at things in a new light. Please try - we all need to.
Are you ready to bridge the generational gap around mental health in your company? Reach out to Melissa to learn more.
Want to learn more about generational differences? Check out Melissa’s new book for more information.
