How To Realistically Manage Stress at Work.
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Unfortunately, human beings are organisms in a constant (but varying) state of distress.
Stress (to some degree) is normal, unavoidable, and happens everywhere. That's just how life is: we encounter different stimuli and adjust as required. As my big sister always says, being alive is just the cost of “doing business”.
Speaking of business, is it any wonder that our workplace often becomes one of the biggest sources of stress? Anything from a heavy workload, ridiculous overtimes, and unrealistic expectations set by a manager to unexpected pay cuts and interpersonal problems with your co-workers have the potential to push your emotions into overdrive.
That’s why it’s crucial to recognize and manage stress at work. Generally speaking, we spend 30+ hours a week on our profession, and if your job is a source of stress that isn’t managed, we don’t get a great result usually from not managing that.
But let me be upfront right now: the key to managing stress is finding out what works for you individually.
Let the words sink in for a moment. I’m saying this because it’s crucial that whatever you do to manage your stress should be the things that make you feel truly happy or unsettled. They should also be the things that work for you.
There is tons of information out there on stress management, but not everything works for everyone. A self-help article in a magazine can suggest ways to manage stress, but do these ways work for you? If yes, good. If not, move on and find another way.
If you feel reluctant to do something in the name of stress management, then that is not the right way for you.
So let's look at how stress can show up at work, some realistic ways we can manage it, and why it’s critical that we do.
WHY IT’S CRITICAL TO MANAGE STRESS AT WORK
I don't have to tell you that stress has its consequences, be it individual, physical, or social. Spiraling into negative self-talk, withdrawing from others socially, and experiencing fatigue or decreased immune functions are just the beginning.
The effects of stress can also impact you professionally. Decreased job performance, increased absenteeism, lowered motivation and engagement, burnout, and interpersonal conflict are among the negative consequences of work-related stress.
It can be more far-reaching than you imagine. With more absenteeism and lower job performance, your company will have poor productivity, a higher turnover rate, an increased risk of accidents and incidents, and a loss of profit.
In short, stress damages not just you as an employee but your business' overall performance. Nobody usually wants that, you need an action plan to manage it.
IDENTIFY YOUR STRESSORS
Let's look at some good ol’ chestnuts when it comes to workplace stressors:
You get reprimanded at work in front of your co-workers.
Your boss asks you to reach an impossible target on a tight deadline.
Someone on your team screams at you like a banshee every time they don’t understand something on a co-owned project.
The workplace has common stressors, such as low salaries, excessively heavy workloads, job insecurity, and unchallenging or unengaging work.
Having little to no opportunity for career growth or advancement, no proper social support, a lack of control over some job-related decisions, and unclear expectations can also become stressors.
But remember: stressors are not the same for every person. What counts as a massive stressor for you may not be the same for another. For example, some people may be happy to stay in the same position as long as they get paid well, but you may be distressed to see a coworker get promoted while you remain in the same role for years.
STRESS MANAGEMENT 101: YOUR CHOICES ARE ONGOING MANAGEMENT OR MAKING A CHANGE
The first step in managing stress at work is to be honest with yourself about your stressor and where it's coming from.
You need to know what is here to stay and what you can leave out of everyday life.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT STRESS IN THE WORKPLACE
Being open to possibilities and exploring all avenues is helpful for managing the stressful situations you encounter. But, again, having too many options can be overwhelming, giving you additional stress. So check out the following tips.
Figure out and identify your Mental Well-being Non-Negotiables™.
When you try to find things to help manage your stress, you should ensure that these things actually make you feel good and you want to do! Forget about what the wellness industry spouts. If the things they recommend don't work for you, it makes no sense to force yourself to do them. Each individual has their own way of coping, so find what yours is and stick to it. Start small, with just one or two things.
Believe it or not, having fewer options simplifies your decision-making process and can lead to greater satisfaction with the option you eventually choose. You're also reducing the likelihood of regret as there are fewer alternatives to compare. And decide on a cadence that you can realistically stick to. If that means just a few minutes a day or 1 hour a week, do that, not what you “think you should” be doing.
Use the Circles of Control & Concern
Mr. Stephen Covey has taught us about the Circles of Control and Concern. The Circle of Control includes all aspects of your life that you can influence. The power to change these aspects rests with you. Despite any roadblocks in making that change, you're the one holding the key, the steering wheel, and the brakes. Meanwhile, the Circle of Concern is everything else outside your control. The weather, the pandemic, a volcanic eruption, the ending of Game of Thrones… these are not yours to control, and you shouldn't try to. Instead, do your best to accept them and decide on your course of action.
Let’s take your workload, for example. You may have to accept that your work takes X number of hours to finish. So focus your energy on what you can do with it. Can you share the workload with a team member? Can you ask your manager’s help to spread the load more evenly? Is a deadline extension possible? You may not have power over the workload and the time it takes to complete it, but figuring out easier ways to deal with the load is something you can control.
Reach out to the people around you, if necessary
Starting a conversation about mental health with your colleague, boss, or HR department may not be easy, but it doesn't mean they can't help. You will have someone who knows about your workplace stress and can help you lessen the burden. As a starter, I'd like to remind you again to be intentional and consider the person you choose to share your situation with and think about why you chose them. 1
Give the additional resources a try
Have an Employee Assisted Program at your workplace? If yes, seek help from it. If not, find out if your company has it or not. Chances are, your company does have an EAP, but you're just not aware of it. If you have access to other counseling options, go for it. Mental health hotlines may also be another option.
IF IT’S TIME TO LEAVE YOUR JOB
If you’ve tried all of the above and it’s just not cutting the mustard, it all comes down to this: if your workplace is causing you too much stress, it may be time to re-evaluate.
Employees everywhere have experienced decreasing job satisfaction, but are you really dissatisfied or are you just having an off day?
Consider these questions and figure out if it’s your gig or is it just you:
Does your stress follow you into the weekend or does it stop when you’re off work?
Can you honestly say you’ve still had some good days at work?
Does your job make you feel like you’re fulfilling your purpose, whatever that means to you?
If the answer to all three questions is “no,” it’s time to rethink your career goals and consider a change.
It may be controversial but I’ve said it before: a job shouldn’t cost your mental well-being and when it does, a complete turnabout is perfectly acceptable. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing a different, less stressful job.
CONCLUSION
Like it or not, stress is not going anywhere. Either directly or indirectly, stress is simply a reaction to challenging situations that affect us every day. What's important is how we can understand its impact and be responsible for dealing with it.
Identifying your stressors is the first step to managing stress, especially in the workplace, where many unexpected situations can crop up. As stressors may vary from person to person, zone in on them and figure out how you can control them—unless they're something outside of your Circle of Control.
Then, it's all about managing it. Be sure to pick one or two things that make you truly happy as part of your Mental Well-being Non-Negotiables™. Reach out to the people around you and use any available resources.
The important thing is to be honest with yourself and accept your stress limitations. That’s the realistic way you can successfully manage stress in your current workplace. After all, only you know what works for you, and, in essence, that’s what it means to have personal accountability.
Check out Melissa's book to find out more about discussing mental health at work. Or sign up for a session where you can learn more about practical and achievable stress management.
Sources:
1: Doman, Melissa. Yes, You Can Talk about Mental Health at Work: Here's Why ... and How to Do It Really Well. Welbeck Publishing Group, 2021.
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